I have noticed in several articles recently, we've been bashing on the human compulsion to empathize with other people by sharing our own related experience. I am very curious to know when and how this became a bad, selfish thing for people to do.

To clarify: I absolutely understand why it is a bad thing to equate your experience with that of someone else whose circumstances are drastically different from yours. If I were a white woman talking about how strangers touching my hair is the same thing as strangers touching a black woman's hair, that is a problem. Point blank, no questions.

But if someone is talking about their breakup, when did it become a bad thing for me to say "When I was going through my breakup, I felt very similar, and I coped by doing XYZ."? I'm not trying to turn the conversation to me. I'm not trying to say that our experiences must be exactly the same, or that I know what's it's like to live in your body. I'm saying that as a fellow human being, I relate to your experience. You are not alone.

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Do people honestly feel as though problems are better experienced in isolation, as though you are the only person who has ever experienced this feeling/situation? If you post a problem on here, are you helped by 30 responses that say "I'm sorry you're having this problem. I hope you find a solution."? I just really don't understand this sudden demonization of expressions of empathy from other people who have had similar experiences. Can someone please help explain that to me?

Edited for a bit of clarification: I understand that when people share their problems, they're not always looking for advice or solutions. I'm not just talking about when people propose solutions, but rather when they say "Hey, been there before. It sucked."