7/12/16: BUMP THE LAST: You know the drill. After Friday, this invite thread will go to a farm upstate to play with all the other invite posts.

7/7/16: BUMP THE SECOND: There’s still time to request authorship! JOIN US.

One more quick reminder: People. Humans. Lovelies. Please...no “I Got Privs!” posts. Use your new privs for good, and save the evil for when it really matters.

7/4/16: WOOOOO! Bumping for those who may have missed it over the weekend (and this will be bumped up periodically for the next couple of weeks).

Gentle reminder, folks: we know you’re excited to get privs! We are excited to give them! However, first posts with headlines like “I Got Privs!” Ehhhhhhhhhh...not so cool. Celebrate instead by posting about all these interesting topics and ideas you’ve been telling us about!

Happy Fourth!

Oh, hello there GT. It has been a minute since we’ve had one of these, hasn’t it? But never fear, Authorship Requests are once again here!

WHAT IS THIS WONDROUSNESS OF WHICH YOU SPEAK?

Groupthink was originally begun as a place where the denizens of Jezebel could come to hang out and talk in their own forum, but in the intervening years has grown to be its own unique, thriving community, based on a solid foundation of thoughtful commentary, personal stories, and kitten posts. Even as the community grows and evolves over time, it still remains directed by you, the authors and commentariat, and we are damn proud of our tradition. From the inane to the academic, silly to serious, and everything in between, Groupthink will continue to reflect what effort and care the community puts into it.

DISCLAIMERS

No, but seriously, if you read nothing else carefully in this post, READ. THIS. PART. I promise to be quick:

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* We are not a safe space. Repeat after me: we are not a safe space. Groupthink is an OPEN community, which means everyone from your neighbor down the street to the cat in an apartment halfway around the world can see what you’re posting. It is indexed, archived, cached, and searchable. PLEASE keep this in mind when posting any identifiable information. So what is one thing we are not, kids? THAT’S RIGHT! We are not a safe space.

* Cross posting is a thing. Part of signing up for a Kinja account means you agree for your posts to be seen across the Kinjaverse. The mods have no control over this feature. If an author for any Kinja website wants to share your post to their main page, they are free to do so. There is no advance notice to this. The only notification you receive will be when you have been cross posted.

GOT AN ISSUE? CONTACT US FIRST:

“Us” is...

Sorcia MacNasty - The Beautiful & Terrible Goddess Who Rules Us All

& The Mod Squad

Celia The Vampire Slaying Vampire

Slaybelle

JoanBeam

LaComtesse

Zap Rowsdower

Fictional Woman

Would you like the promptest service? EMAIL US: GROUPTHINKMODS@GMAIL.COM

Questions about what is or is not cool to do on GT? Not sure you need us and need a handy way to figure it out?

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Groupthink Guidelines are for you! Another great way to get answers to your questions is by searching the tag “Mod Talk.”

It is expected that if you are requesting authorship, you have read these guidelines, understand them, and agree to be bound by those rules.

OH SHIT, REALLY? HOW ABOUT YOU GIMME THE GIST OF IT?

Happy to!

* Don’t be an asshole

What do we mean by that? If you read a comment that makes you feel this:

Pause. Just pause for a second. We all benefit from the benefit of the doubt. Keep in mind that voice and tone can be quite difficult to convey over text, and we’re all doing our best to communicate clearly with our fellow humans.

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That being said, if you think someone is well and truly out of line, email the mods. We can be reached at: groupthinkmods@gmail.com

* Shit stirring is 100% ban worthy

What’s THAT?!

Glad you asked. Shit-stirring is considered to be an individual who intentionally targets or antagonizes a GT member/group of members to the point of distress. Types of shit stirring include but are not limited to: direct contact through posts and comments, indirect contact through other social media means, call-out posts, derailing, trolling, inflammatory remarks containing all the oldies, but goodies: racism, sexism, ableism - look, if it falls into an “ism” that doesn’t ascribe to the basic tenets of respect towards fellow humans, you might want to reflect on whether you’re being an asshole before hitting “publish.”

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Think someone is being a shit stirrer? Email the mods at groupthinkmods@gmail.com and we will review the situation, which can take anywhere from immediate action to several days, depending on the complexity of the problem and availability of the moderators.

* DOXXING MEANS IMMEDIATE AND PERMANENT BANNING

Do not test us on this. You publish any identifiable, personal information about any human, you will be banned. Period.

What if I don’t know what is considered doxxing? lmgtfy.com

Have you or someone you know been doxxed on Groupthink? Email the mods immediately: groupthinkmods@gmail.com

...

I’m really proud of all of us for getting through that! Let’s enjoy these kittens and ducklings playing together to the tune of “It’s a Wonderful World” as a well deserved reward:

FUCK THE KITTENS, I WANT TO BE AN AUTHOR.

Alrighty then! First, there are a couple of things we should go over:

What’s the difference between a Commenter and an Author?

There are two basic types of users on GT: commenters and authors. Commenters are further divided into “followed” and “gray” (not followed). Please bear in mind that if you are a gray commenter, chances of authorship will be slim until you become a regular, followed commenter. Followed commenters have been approved to have their comments automatically post to black without being filtered into “pending.” Any approved commenter can follow a gray commenter for GT.

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Authors have been granted the privilege of posting to the main page, as well as the additional ability to cross-post other Kinja content to the main page. They keep all the same privs available to commenters, which are posting comments and personal Kinja pages.

What do we take into account when someone asks for authorship privileges?

1. An established commenting history on Groupthink that dates back at least a few months. We really do look, folks. Mods have real lives and not all of us are familiar with everyone’s voice - your comments are how we get to know you and how you interact with the community.

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2. Evidence of active participation and positive contribution to the community. If we find comments accusing us of being a pack of mentally unstable platypus murderers, chances of authorship will remain slim to none. Still want to be an author? Rethink the platypus murderer remark and improve your commenting history. Rare, sporadic posting is a flag for us, too - like it’s been stated, we are looking for active participants in the community, not people looking to collect authorship privs like POGs.

3. Unique voices and interesting perspectives. Over the years, GT has developed several weekly features, post series, and a wide variety of personal/academic essays. We are always looking to add new ideas and voices to our author list. If you have an idea for a topic you’d like to explore, do a post series on, hell, a weekly serial a la Dickens, TELL US ABOUT IT. We want to hear what you’re passionate about and would like to share with everyone here.

4. An ability to read critically and retain basic information about our community. Yup, that means having read the disclaimers above, you’re familiar with the guidelines, and you know how to contact the mods when necessary.

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5. Patience, grasshopper. The authorship post is going to be up for two weeks, and it can take mods several days to adequately review requests. How in the world will you know when a decision has been made? Simple! Your comment will be deleted once a decision has been made on your authorship status. Additionally, Kinja will send you an “INVITE” that will show up in your notifications. Do you still see your comment up? Have you not received an invite notification? Then we have not yet made a decision. Please do not ask. Certainly don’t ask repeatedly.

IS THIS MY ONLY CHANCE?!

Not at all! While this particular authorship post will be open for two weeks, we do our best to host seasonal invite threads, giving commenters the option to request authorship up to four times a year. If it doesn’t happen this roll of the dice, stick around, keep participating, and try again next time!

SO NOW CAN I REQUEST AUTHORSHIP?

Yes you can! In order to request authorship, first recommend this post so it shows up in the GT sidebar, and then reply in a comment to this thread with the following info:

1. What is Groupthink’s tagline right now?

2. How do you contact the mods?

3. A link to your kinja account so we can verify your user name and review your commenting history.

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4. BONUS! Tell us what you’d like to write about, or any ideas you have for series, features, etc.

Following these steps is the ONLY way to request authorship. Emailing the mods will not work. Tweeting the mods will not work. Bribing the mods will be highly appreciated, but still will not work. You want to be an author, follow the above directions.

MAY THE ODDS EVER BE IN YOUR FAVOR.