Advanced Muggle Studies is back, and we’re punnier than ever! This week, we discuss: poor misdirected Ginny; magical hucksters; new and improved criminal Hermione; bad swelling puns; What the Fuck, Hogwarts?; Dueling Clubs are useless; no one in this school did any student teaching; pointless spell fights; Snape is a dick; Lockhart’s overexcited wand; even more bad penis puns; the etymology of Parseltongue; the return of anti-snake stigma; Ernie Macmillan is an ass; Harry Potter, OG Dark Wizard; stop with the fucking puns already; bad choices in colloquialisms; Harry has no manner of luck at all; GRYFFINDOR PUNS; Dumbledore’s office; flaming turkeys; the history and symbolism of phoenixes; the truth behind the Nimbus; X-Men and Dark Phoenix; who knew Chinese and Christian virtues aligned so closely; sticky virginity things; OH MY GOD TWILIGHT EXPLAINS WHY CURSED CHILD IS SO SHITTY; Polyjuice Potion; expel Slytherin; lonely Draco and Malfoy family jokes; the politics of uppity; sad attempts to redeem Draco; and why Dramione just perpetuates misogyny.