The Chamber of Secrets has been opened once more, and your professors are waltzing right in!

This week on Advanced Muggle Studies, we discuss: Oliver Wood’s priorities; we need to discuss phrasing; smarmy Lockhart and softie McGonagall; Hermione Granger saves lives; Hogwarts civic planning must be magic; the history of the basilisk; cockatrices and cock eggs; the strangely powerful weasel; the Superman effect on the Voldemort of the Wizarding world; the complicated history of snakes, lions, birds and griffins; it always comes back to Satan; the powerful Garden of Eden metaphor for strength of character; tiny Snape hints; Lockhart schadenfreude; who knew witch hunts could be so complicated?; the naivete of children; privileges of being a Weasley parent; proof that Lockhart is a shitty wizard; Lockhart as human shield and discredit to the human race; Slytherin the egotist; and the definitive Best Version of Voldemort.