Advanced Muggle Studies returns! This week we discuss: awesome alliteration; pretty pug Pansy Parkinson; how exactly Hermione planned to pull this off; academic excellence despite physics; emotional labor with Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny; large schools hate signs; Sir Cadogan and King Pellinore; Divination is clearly the worst to come; tasseography, apophenia and pareidolia; Helena Blavatsky and the paradox of Seers; Neville and the Macbeth effect; Hermione has no patience for this shit; your Professors read their horoscopes; polyester and orgies; apparently air is good for breathing; hell hounds of all shapes and sizes; starting a monster-inspired craft brewery; Rate My Professor: Hogwarts Edition; sneaky Animagi; fuck you, McGonagall is a professional; hippogriffs and Our Lord; Batman on a sparrow; themes of beastliness; Draco brings douchey back; weepy drunk Hagrid; and stupid fucking teenagers.