HOLY SHITBALLS YOU GUYS, WE’RE BACK!!! The professors had to abandon ship for a bit, for a lot of heavy shit if we’re being honest, but OMG WE ARE SO HAPPY to be back talking Harry Potter again.

This week, we discuss: Malfoy’s glittering future soccer career; tiny boners and skinned shrivelfigs; dreary shipping; HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE WE FOUND OTTALINE GAMBOL; who needs academic excellence?; arguing pedagogy with Snape and Lupin; foreshadowing Umbridge; the utter uselessness of waddiwasi; nobody wants to sit with Snape; pookas, boggarts, and tiny moist hands; the lasting power of nebulous fear; the perfect explanation for why you’re scared of the monster under your bed; the challenge boggarts present to knowing your fears; Slytherin scheduling woes; and assorted rants about Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean plot holes, and upcoming projects.

Come ramble with us!