My ex found my Groupthink account.

Every once in a while, I update my Kinja and set to private old relationship stuff, but he saw my post about how much I didn't like sex (leading to the conclusion, thanks to you wonderful people in the comments - not sarcastic! - that it was him I was having sex problems with), he saw my post after the break up, he saw my post about how to have casual sex.

He blew up on me. We were going to try to be friends. We dated for almost four years. Despite not wanting to be with him right now, I still considered him my best friend. But I guess not now. I don't even know if I want him to apologize tomorrow and have this blow over, or if this is the kind of thing you can get over.

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I'm shaking really hard right now. I feel so violated. I know this isn't a safe space, and yet, I felt like it was, at least from direct discovery from the people being discussed. We simplify things on here. Now my ex thinks that I think he's this horrible person who's bad in bed with a "tiny malfunctioning dick" (wtf?) and that I'm going to go be a slut and have 'flings' (WTF?) and yeah, I'm shaking even harder right now. It's hard to type.

Help. What do I do? I can't lose you guys. I can't keep posting here. I can't make a new account and tell you guys, because he'll see that too. This is not a time in my life when I can leave the community here. You guys have all helped me deal with depression and illness, and fear and relationship issues, and my experience with sexual assault, and how to be happy with myself and my body. I can't not have GT.

Please, if anyone has been through this, I need all of the advice in the world. If you have anything to say that you don't want him to see, please email me at zokajo.groupthink@gmail.com.

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And Zach, if you see this, I hope you're happy. I'm sorry you had to read things that I said about you when I was upset and frustrated and some of it come out meaner than it had to. But you read my diary and eavesdropped on my conversations with my friends and therapists all at once. It wasn't going to be pretty.