I am about to move my Alzheimer’s Dad to a different house so that we can have a live-in aide. For a variety of reasons, I want to change aides. The aide we have doesn’t drive, lives far away and is allergic to cats; she’s also not that reliable and doesn’t want to take on all the things a live-in aide normally does. I also want to change agencies for reasons of tax reporting and workmens’ comp and so forth — reasons having nothing to do with her. She;s been with us for about 10 months. I don’t have a new aide yet - I’m working with a new geriatric care manager and she is going to find someone - but I’m not sure how long this will take. I want to move my Dad next Friday because it’s my spring break and I can stay there during the transition. My hope would be to have the new aide by then.

So for our existing aide, it’s possible that there will only be one more week of work. I want to give her some notice of this but I’m not sure how to handle it. I’m planning to give her a large parting gift (probably a week’s wages worth or more), so, is a week enough notice to give her? I feel that if I wait until I find a new aide then I might only be giving a couple of days notice and that feels wrong to me. To give her a week’s notice I would need to speak with her today.

I’m thinking of saying that she’s been so great and we really wish it could work out long term with the move, but because of driving, cats and taxes I need to make a change. GAH! it feels so horrible to contemplate this conversation. Any hivemind wisdom or advice?