"$850,000 budget."— that is too much money!

"Must-have bathroom renovation"— your bathroom is fine! It's cool! I like it! You can shower and poop and pee in it and brush your teeth. Spend your money elsewhere! Unless it looks like this bathroom:

"We can't live like this anymore"— I WANT TO LIVE LIKE THAT! Come live where I live, you would probably spontaneously combust.

"I want hardwood floors throughout"— yeah, and I want a tiger with a dog's brain to cuddle with and walk around the block. We all have dreams!

"Whhaaaaaaaaaaaaaat are these cabinets?" —Is... is this a rhetorical question? They're cabinets. What did you expect?

"Uh-oh, REALITY CHECK— you need to gut this kitchen"— is it infested with rats, cockroaches or communists? Black mold? Do the cabinets not hold things, the stove and oven won't cook and the sink spews out diarrhea? Say it with me: You. Are. Fine.


And then they use their bags of money to go buy the ugliest thing in the entire universe. Why do I obsessively watch this channel?

(this gif applies to the people buying/working on these houses as well as me, for watching this self-abusive shite)