As a new home owner I spend an inordinate amount of time exercising in Home Depot (no longer being able to afford any kind of gym membership, and with no time to do anything but grout, I now consider my daily Home Depot power walks to be my exercise time). I used to love Home Depot. Used to. Now it's where money and dreams go to die.

But my real fucking beef with Home Depot are the workshops. Every single workshop for dudes is "How to Make a Backsplash" or "How to Re-do Your Bathroom". The Do-It-Herself workshop for the "thrifty chick" are all "Decorative Painting" and "Learn How to Build a Rolling Storage Cart" (they're not all like this, but the majority are). Basically they're the equivalent of Samplers in Colonial Times. My poor husband has to hear me rant every time we walk in there: "Sorry! I'd love to help with the backsplash but I'll be TOO BUSY painting bumble bees on every available surface! Just a chick, you know, tra la la!" It's getting old for all involved.

Why, in this day and age, does Home Depot assume that a woman walking into their store is making a beeline for the Martha Stewart crackle paint and then hauling ass to get out of there as quickly as possible so that they can make it back to the Female Embassy that is Michael's crafts? Why not just label all of the workshops as "Workshops" rather than split them up by gender? I know plenty of men who would EXCEL at decorative painting! The world is losing so many potential artists thanks to your workshop-shaming, Home Depot. I'm glad you weren't around to discourage Michelangelo.