Let’s do this, GT. Get it off your chest! Here is mine:

Let’s all stop saying “Bless you” after someone sneezes. Can I not just have a fucking bodily function in goddamn peace without someone commenting on it with a 1500 year old superstition about plague or the devil entering my body? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK IN 2017?

It’s not even the religious aspect (although honestly, as an atheist I don’t know what your bless me is doing, and if you make a point to put “god” bless you in there, I’m going to eyeroll you), because I believe in good wishes/vibes. But seriously, I don’t like not being even able to fucking sneeze in peace.

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(Full disclaimer I used to be someone who said bless you to sneezy people. I regret my youthful ways and apologize retroactively). STRANGERS AND COWORKERS PLEASE DON’T COMMENT ON ANY OF MY BODILY FUNCTIONS OR NOISES FROM HERE ON OUT THANK YOU.