I’ve had a rough week - please let me complain. I don’t need advice, but empathy and support are more than welcome. Venting about your own complaints is also more than welcome.
* I didn’t get the federal fellowship I applied for - which I knew was likely bc my score wasn’t low enough to be fundable, but I’m still really bummed and my mentor is traveling and not reachable to give me a pep talk. I already submitted a revised version of the application in response to feedback - and that gets reviewed in a month or so, so there’s still hope.
* The funding source for part of my position changed, and I haven’t been paid for Jan/Feb yet and they have no idea when all the paperwork will get through and I’ll get paid.
* I was supposed to do something with friends last night, but the not getting paid thing made it so that I didn’t feel I could spend the money, so emailed them that they should still go. I was half hoping they’d say they didn’t want to go without me (since the whole thing was my idea and the idea was for us to all do it together) - but it looks like they went without me. I didn’t want to keep them from doing it, but am still kinda sad.
* My diss chair (who I still work with, despite having graduated) went off on me earlier this week - she thought I made a lot of mistakes on something and basically told me that I am clearly not learning and that I am still making the same mistakes over and over. The thing is - I didn’t make the mistakes she accused me of, but I just cannot defend myself when I am getting yelled at. So now she thinks I am a moron and likely has told another mentor this. And even though I know I didn’t make those errors, I still felt like a complete idiot - and this has been undergirding my reactions to all of the above all week.
* I got an email last week telling me part of my position was ending in a few months. An email. This week I learned that it was likely not financially motivated. This also has been undergirding my reactions this week. I’ll be okay - the university my mentor is joining will likely pick up the other half of my position, but still...
On the plus side, my move to NYC with my mentor has taken one tiny step forward - but not enough of a step that I can start making any plans.
Please tell me what is going on with you!