So after breaking up with perfectly nice but long-term problematic boyfriend on Friday, these are the steps I’ve taken:

1. Only told a few people, including my other ex-boyfriend, with whom I’m best friends and who’s been a source of endless support for me; my boss at the sew shop, because she’s sympathetic to these things; a co-worker, because I trust her discretion and I needed something to explain the instant tears when she asked how I was on Monday; my Mom; and GroupThink. I haven’t told any of my other best friends, family, dad, etc. I just don’t want to. I don’t want to talk about it, re-hash, etc.

2. Asked a friend of mine out for drinks who I’ve had a crush on for a while. Backstory: I’ve known him since high school. We live in the same small town again, 15+ years later. He was a very chill, smart guy then.

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Two years ago (I think...maybe three...), he walked me home one night from a party when I was very drunk. We kissed. I’m not sure it was a good one or not. I was very drunk. I saw him again this summer, and we hung out at his house one night and talked. He’s smart, interesting, intelligent, and we have great conversations. I felt like we connected. After talking for a couple hours that night, he asked if he could kiss me again. It was then that I told him I had a boyfriend. I hadn’t mentioned it before because...I don’t know. Probably because I have issues. I wanted to kiss him then. I don’t know if he has a girlfriend now (mom saw him going to the movies with a girl last weekend [she works at the theater in town one night a week. It’s an artsy theater, only once screen]). I won’t be aggressive, but I’d like to see if we still connect and what happens from there. At the worst, it’ll just be drinks with an old friend. I’d be happy with just that.

3. Friend-requested a guy I met in Yellowstone during week-long solo camping trip. We also almost kissed. He lives in Illinois, though, so that’s not really going to be a thing.

4. Have cried alone for the the past two nights. Tried really hard not to cry at work on Monday and was only moderately successful.

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5. Set some goals for myself, including finishing a quilt I’d like to enter into the modern quilt convention.

I’d like to get through the sad phase, but I also realize it takes some time. I’m trying to go through it.

GT, you’ve been awesome in your support. Thank you. :)