...when your self-confidence is always built on sand? No matter how great I feel about something I've done in my career, inevitably, it will all come crumbling down, and I will be told (by either a person or the universe, in no uncertain terms) that I actually suck at that thing I thought I did great. Has anyone else experienced this? How do you cope with that? How do you build up your self-confidence?
I go back to work tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure it's to do something I was recently told by the universe that I suck at. I'm on the verge of going misanthropic, but that never ends well either. While I can crack people up in the short term by being blunt and saying what I think, it always backfires. I end up alienating people and I certainly don't want to do that this time.
This year, I plan to go on birth control for the hormone-regulation, and I'm pretty sure I'm diabetic, so I plan to be diagnosed with and get treatment for that. Would that be enough, do you think, to put my mind right? I highly doubt it. Ugh. I'll have to start exercising for the endorphins.
Life is difficult when you know that thing you're working so hard on will only be pointed out as flawed and a failure. Yet you keep trying. Like maybe this time will be the actual good one. In the meantime, there's lots of heartache and stress and crying.
And friendships with co-workers. That's a good one. Of course, there's also the risk of enemy co-workers, but I work with some good girls. I don't forsee that happening, or if it does, I doubt that it would last.
I'd appreciate any stories, even if you, like me, haven't overcome your inevitable failure and collapse of self-confidence. Do you keep a list? or is that ultimately unhealthy? How do you recover?
Also, please no mainpaging. I don't have time to keep up with trolls tonight. Thank you.