...or spells correctly.


No one talks about it. Ever. But one of my six year old students brings special wipes to school. And when I suggested to my friend to put Tucks pads on her swollen eyes so she could go out, she had them in stock. Any woman I know who has given birth (and talked to about this...which rarely happens) has experienced them. Anyone with occasional stomach problems has experienced them. Why the stigma?


I developed a hemorrhoid years ago when I was dealing with constant stomach problems (before realizing I was gluten intolerant). It was rarely painful, very minor, no big deal.

Monday morning, I woke up with INTENSE pain in my rear and a major stomach ache. Whoa. Thinking it was constipation, I gave things a try...and found that it was too painful to even try. My stomach was killing me. I rushed to the store to get an enema and rushed home, trying not to cry. Yadda yadda yadda, I did the deed. MY BUTT STILL HURT INTENSELY. At this point, I couldn't even sit down anymore. What??


So I started putting the puzzle pieces together. I had had bronchitis for a week. I was coughing CONSTANTLY, putting strain on my entire body. My sides were sore, my stomach was aching, and I was on antibiotics. Ding ding ding.

Antibiotics were causing the terrible upset and nausea.

The bronchitis had caused me to develop a severely uncomfortable hemorrhoid. Oh jeez. And unfortunately, it was INSIDE, swollen so much that I couldn't go to the bathroom properly. And all I had were Tucks, a jar I'd had for several years that were almost dried out.

I couldn't handle the humiliation of going back to the store for Preparation H after buying an enema. Thankfully, my mom went for me and dropped some off. FOUR HOURS LATER. In the meantime, I'd carefully taken a sitz bath and stayed off my butt. Miracle of miracles, after sticking a second tube of something up my butt, I was feeling much better.

Mom =

Tuesday, I actually had to go to work. The variety of meds were helping and my cough was going away. I was too afraid to poop. I took some stool softeners in the evening so that I would be able to go pain-free this morning.

And on and on. So this is my life now. Painful poops and things up my butt. How long should I expect this to go on?

Feel free to share your super fun hemorrhoid stories!