I work with a really cute Russian film tutor. I am partial to him because he looks a little like Mr. MacNasty (who is Ukrainian, i.e. his biological dad was from Chernobyl) and because OMG, that accent. Ahem. Anyhow, today he said to me that he liked saying hello to me in the halls because I could pronounce his name correctly (I live in the South — imagine how his basically simple-to-pronounce Russian name gets mangled) and it made him happy. I, of course, texted this to Mr. MacNasty, because he loves it when I get this kind of mild, non-threatening attention from other dudes. His awesome reply to my text that I had a "Russian admirer":

Him: I may be Ukrainian, but I won't give you up like Crimea!

Me: Aw, I think that's my new favorite declaration of love from you!

Him: Tell him your husband is sore about Crimea and he better watch his step.

Me: You know I am not going to do that, right?

Him: You suck, Crimea. I thought you were cool.