(No mainpaging, for the love of Zeus)

A thing that I have never done in my 30 years of life on this planet.

I asked a guy out. On a date.

I should back track a bit and explain why this is kind of a MONUMENTAL thing for me. Because of a bunch of things in my life (child sexual abuse, depression/anxiety, mild OCD with self-harm, “fun-employed” until a few months ago), I pretty much fridged the idea of me dating/having a relationship/getting laid consensually ever in life. I just didn’t want to deal with “explaining” all this crap to a guy, and the thought of doing so still makes me want to keel over into a ball and sob uncontrollably.

And yet, at the end of my training today, I walked up to this guy’s car, asked for his number, and asked him out.

Dis iz me rite nao.