I had an interview last week for a role I wasn't terribly interested in but for an organization that I definitely want to work for...a part of me tries to not care or feel hurt because "I didn't want that *exact* job and how long would I have to work at it until I was able to apply for the job I did want"... and even though I know that I interviewed shittily on the technical aspects of the job I *know* that my skill levels are way above what is required, but the tasks they asked of me were outside of my core competency, so of course I struggled plus I was just super nervous. The interview was part Q&A and part technical. The technical part covered material I was not familiar with and/or things I haven't really looked at in over ten years on top of which I know this particular employer has 'their own way' of doing things and I am pretty sure the candidates they selected were already employees who knew how to answer better.

GAH. I have been basically job hopping for the past three years and/or interviewing often times for jobs that I don't necessarily want but am more than capable of - at this point it's just a given that I am not going to get the job and it's hard to even want to try anymore. OTOH I feel that I am self-sabotaging myself because? I don't know...I certainly don't enjoy *not* working especially as all of my friends are "so busy" - I just continually seem to interview poorly. At least that is the feedback I seem to get "Great resume but you just don't fit what we are looking for..." and my prospects for ever getting hired anywhere ever again seem to get dimmer and dimmer... I swear I try to give off the "I'm so competent I can do anything - and better than anyone else" vibe and not the "oh, jeez, this again" but maybe I am. Fuck. It's like everything I want to do I get rejected for (ok, maybe not this job) and I keep having to go back to the stuff I already know. So frustrated.