​​She is demanding, obnoxious, and requires copious amounts of care. I just want to be able to go out for an evening without worrying about whether my dog has has adequate potty breaks. She demands breakfast at 6am, even when the boyfriend is staying over and I would prefer to hang out in bed nekkid. Not allowed. She won't even let me finish my coffee in the morning before demanding a walk, which I'm pretty sure was part of the Nuremburg Trials. She barks at any other dog she sees, and regularly embarrasses me on walks. She is a hateful, bitter, racist asshole. And I love her. I really do.