I've got a bachelorette party to go to tomorrow and a bridal shower the following day and I am dreading it.

The bride has picked a super swank restaurant to go to. Great, let me do more lap dances so I can afford that shit. Then she wants to go to all of the spendy trendy bars in the area, where of course I will be expected to buy drinks. Also, on the back of the bachelorette part invite it says her bra and underwear size and that she likes Victoria's Secret. Sorry honey, I get a dancer discount at the sex shop and you're getting some crazy awesome crotchless panties and fishnet teddies. All of this on top of the $300 I already spent on dress and shoes. And I have to cover my tattoos, take out my piercings, dye my hair a normal color, and get hair extensions so that I can wear my hair the way she would like in the wedding. I don't even know why someone would want me to be in their wedding if the way I look is that much of an issue.

I used to really like this girl and be close with her, but her wedding is driving me up a fucking wall. We went out for drinks a week ago and she really offended me. She's terrified that her fiance is going to go to a strip club for his bachelor party, and said "I don't want him to be around those slutty skanks with STDs." I actually had to prompt her and say "You know how I earn a living right?"

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Also I'm divorced and still a little bitter, and helping her plan her wedding while going through a divorce hasn't exactly been super exciting for me.

Ugh.