I should probably start of with TMI warning, TW possibly, NSFW
This is something I've been wanting to discuss this is a 'safe' area for a long time, but never quite figured out how to word this to make it sound exactly the way I feel, without people misinterpreting the meaning I've trying to convey.
I ultimately gave up on that, and decided I'd take the time to try to clarify things in comments it things do get a little screwy. Feel free to comment if you have any questions, comments, concerns! I'll try to get to them. feel free to make any comment you like!
I also want to explain, I'm a very open person, and don't really mind sharing things about myself. In fact, I think its good for the soul. One topic I always get a kick about discussing is sex.
Now I have a high sex drive, and I have no how it happened, but I have an idea of when it started. I wasn't even that sexually active until I got to college. Even then, I was more worried about graduating, until sophomore year, when someone I dated sort of opened me up to the idea that I was actually attractive, and sex was actually on option. Before then, I had never really put that much thought into it; low self esteem. After that, I decided to explore this idea of sex, and sexuality. I mean I started watching online porn, I started reading Cosmo, I started watching Sex and the City, I went to the library and was renting sex documentaries, I even started signing up for human sexuality courses. Interesting subject matter, which was only ever brought up during Truth or Dare with friends.
Many years later, I now not only have a high interest in sex (just as a topic of discussion), but I have a high libido too.
Now, I want to clarify a few things at this point. I'm not addicted to sex. I was curious about it, and did research, talked to some people, and I don't exhibit sex addiction (sex addiction being debatable as an addiction currently). My libido does not embarrass me, nor do I have any negative feelings about sex. I also do not think there is any thing wrong or unhealthy with having a high libido (or any other type of libido really), BUT!, I would really really REALLY be ok with having a lower libido.
What makes me think I have a high sex? Well If I had my way, I think I could manage sex about 4-6 times a week, which is probably not much higher than the average for my demographic (American Male, late 20s). So why is my libido a problem? I feel like it puts a strain on my relationship with my wife who has a lower sex drive than me.
NOW, I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with her sex drive, nor do I wish her to change. I don't want my drive to be a burden for my wife to bear. We have sex, 1-4 times monthly depending, which I'm ok with.
Now, a lot of people jump to "Have you asked your wife why she doesn't want more sex?" I guess I could try to get my wife to meet me half way, but (and I'm not too familiar with this) I feel thats not a fair thing to ask anyone to do. We have talked about it, and this seems normal for her. We would probably have sex more often if I coerced her into sex more often, but again, this isnt fair to ask.
Now what is interesting about having a high sex drive, is that it quite often goes unnoticed as a problem. I'm not complaining about having enough sex (well I guess I kinda am). I want to have less of a desire for sex. The furthest research I have done for a solution are google searches (don't really know where else to go, I guess I can discuss it with a doctor). The solution that pops up most commonly (from males and females) seems to be 'find a girl who can match'. It almost seems like the thought of having less sex never occurs to anyone. The only other 'practical' solution is to take anti-depressants. I'm not sure about how to get signed up for anti-depressants.
I'm no stranger to masturbation, and that does help calm my libido, but it definitely does not make it go away. And the satisfaction of masturbation diminishes overtime. Working out helps at times, but seems to amp up my physical/sexual confidence overtime, and eventually boost my libido again.
Sounds weird, but has anyone sort of had this problem, or has an idea of how to help?
ETA: Thanks for the response! I really do appreciate everyone taking the time to read and comment.
A couple of things were commented I think are worth mentioning.
Our Ages: I'm 29 and my wife is 30
Meds- My wife currently isnt on any medications, we dont use birth control, just condoms.
TLDR: High Sex drive, but I want to less sex. Any suggestion?