Lindy posted this awesome Dinosaurs gif-filled post about 'Happier,' an inexplicably orange social media site. In the interest of science and stuff, I signed up for an account.

Here it is, my very own Happier account.

Here's what I have learned thus far:

1. The improvement in overall state of my happiness rises exponentially in direct correlation to how long I have been a member of 'Happier.' As of the publishing of this post, I am 'happier than I was 12 minutes ago.'

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2. I believe I have scientifically, conclusively proved this website totally works, because I have not stopped laughing since I found it.

3. When you get to three 'happys' (????) they throw you a crazy confetti gif party. Now I want to post a fuckton of 'happys' (seriously, ????????) and see what else I get. I wonder how many levels of Happiness you can ascend to? Is it like some crazy Scientology type cult, where when you post 5,000 'happys' you get invited into the inner circle of happiness, where only elite happy celebrities like Kelly Ripa are allowed to be happy??? WHAT HAVE I STUMBLED UPON HERE.

Anyway, I'm trying to find some more shit to be happy about. Who's got some ideas?

ETA: GOOD LORD IT HAS 'HAPPY BLOGS'

First of all, let yourself go down that k-hole in the 'Discover' Happier because it's basically awesome. From Nancy Kogen, who's probably at Level Septi-9 Alpha of Happiness, judging by this:

Nothing says summer like July-themed fun with friends and family. Here are a few great reasons to celebrate the mid-point-month of the year :)

You should share your happy July moments because we can't wait to see them!

Nancy says we should enjoy July by 'making a flag-themed cake with blueberries and strawberries' and 'being part of a parade.' If I had to walk in a parade in 101 degree heat in July, I would fucking kill everyone. I wish I were more like Nancy, who finds happiness in the 'larkspur,' (WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT??) , 'making your own pickles for National Pickle Month' and 'winning the egg toss at the block party.'' Oh shit, Nancy's life sounds so awesome. What the hell am I doing wrong? I have done none of those things. Also, if I saw a 'larkspur,' I'd probably fucking kill it.

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NANCY WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND? FOR REAL? I HATE JULY. IT IS STICKY AND GROSS AND HOT AND IT ALL MAKES ME WANT TO MURDER PEOPLE. PLEASE TEACH ME YOUR WAYS OF LOVING JULY!!!

UPDATE//BREAKING HAPPY NEWS: HAPPIER HAS ITS FIRST CREEPER

Oh yeaaaaah. This guy knows what will make him happy.

See Burt Get Happier On Happier