How nice do I need to be when I'm fucking BOMBARDED with stupid pregnancy advice? Are other people so stupid that they can't read a basic pregnancy book? I do not believe that they are! Are they, then, just nicer and more patient than I am, and can dutifully receive this inane, pointless advice coming from all directions?

I'm absolutely at my wits' end. I can't even be polite anymore. People keep messaging me to tell me what I'm feeling (I'm FINE, really, stop telling me that being overdue is stressful), no matter who it is, they always act like they're a "step ahead" - if it wasn't advice about first trimester, then it was second, then third, then labour, then newborns. I'm talking people who are/were only 2-8 weeks ahead in the pregnancy game than I am.

If I pre-empt by saying "oh man, unsolicited advice is driving me crazy", then they invariably reply with "yeah! my only advice is ___" and the blank is something moronic.

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Yesterday someone told me "read a complicated novel, take a hot bath, go to the cinema, because you'll never be able to do those again!!" Well I read non-fiction, hate baths, and haven't been in a movie theatre in like ten years. So why do I need to take up these specific activities now?

Also, I may be an opinionated cow or whatever but I have nice gentle hobbies: gardening, nature, knitting, baking, sewing, etc etc. Even though I've been doing these things essentially my whole life, this is suddenly nesting. What a fucking condescending term. How about I'm just interested in them and have been for decades?? Or is it because I'm laaaady and I do laaaaaady things?

Finally, no I do not want to hear your goddamned 'birth story'. For one, I have hobbies and have better shit to do than hear about how you're the earth mother / nearly died on the operating table, and two, every birth is different, so it's not helpful. So piss off.

God I wish I could drink right now.