Someone actually said that line to my BFF. And it fucking worked. I’m so pissed that she’s fallen for this! (I know it’s her life and all that but I’m her primary confidant about this and I’m frustrated that she’s wasting her awesome self on him.)

The backstory: she has been “dating” a guy from OkCupid who has canceled on her, only has her come to his place to talk and have sex, never takes her out anywhere in public, goes completely silent and doesn’t respond to her texts, said she shouldn’t be dating other people and told her that he was but that he’d only sleep with her. When he didn’t respond to a text and she called him on it, he made sure to call her needy.

He is the worst. I have flat out told her this, which I can do after 38 years of BFF-ness, and she agrees when he’s not contacting her. Then will agree to see her and he’s the most magical person ever. Last night they were supposed to hang out and he told her he couldn’t because he had to clean his house. What? So she sent him a text asking him for 30 minutes of his time, during which there was supposed to be a come to Jesus. Nope, just a man claiming to be scared of his feelings in order to get laid.

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Edited to add: When he was “cleaning his house” he was actually on a date with someone else, which ended just in time for him to allow her to come over. He told her that the whole date he was thinking about her.