For once in my life, I would like to just live in some god damned peace. I am not sure if this is too much to ask of the world, but it seems impossible to have it.

We have talked a bunch about this so I won't go on forever, but street harassment is probably one of the things that has bothered me almost my entire life. My first experience with it was when I was about 8 years old. Yes, you are all reading this correctly. I remember the day because it was the first time I saw my dad get into an almost fight with a stranger. We were going to the butcher, and I hated going there. It smelled awful and it's a butcher shop. It's gross. A man, who may have been in his 30's told my dad, he better keep an eye on his pretty little thing. (it was said in spanish so it doesn't translate well) and then he winked at me. Immediately I felt humiliated. As a victim of child molestation that began at an early age, I knew what it felt like to be reduced to a piece of meat, and here I was in a BUTCHER shop being treated as such. My father lost his shit and started shoving the guy, we left before the police were called, but it was the beginning.

Over the years, it has been a part of my daily life. Some months go by quietly, but this is rare. One of the reasons I am afraid to run by myself (thus the mace question a few months ago, also thanks a lot to the person who felt so great about themselves to point out that mace was going to stop me from being attacked sarcastically) is because of the constant, wink, whistles, "hey girls" that I get along 3-5 miles of trail. Even when I am disgustingly full of sweat and completely disheveled, i get this shit. And I know that it has nothing to do with being attractive, it has everything to do with being reduced to nothing more than a play thing. I have learned to not respond.

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The times where I have engaged have become so aggressive that I have feared for my safety. Once a guy pulled his car over and asked me to flip him off to his face...I quickly moved into a nearby building. Other times, I might just smile and say, "sorry! married!" and they will suggest that my husband "ain't got nothing I got" or something stupid. I tried, when I was younger, to acknowledge them when they are really close by to make it easier for me, but even this backfired and I gained a stalker because of it. He learned where I went to school and my route to my house and he would wait for me. He threatened to rape me once, but never got near enough to me to be able to do it. I had to ask the neighborhood dealer to start walking me to BART and he often would until I realized he was just trying to get close to me when he bought be diamond earring, which I turned down. Eventually the guy stopped coming around but I started driving to school to avoid any more issues with him.

So today, this just happened. I went out to get lunch (Vietnamese y'all!) and some 20 something year old dude bro' sticks his head out the window as I am about to walk into my building and yells "hey cutie, come over here and smile for me." I ignored him. But he stayed where he was until the security guard asks him if he can help him. At this point I am inside, but I hear him ask the security guard to tell me to come outside. smh. I just wanted to continue to enjoy my day that up until now had been good and nom on some good food. Thanks a lot asshole.