My little sister just texted me, "[Friend from school] sent me a video of her cat licking her armpit and now I need to one-up her. What do I do?"

First, I'm flattered that she's asking my advice.

Second, she's 28. These things should be obvious by now.

Third, while I'm glad they're not on the drugs, I really wish they'd find something constructive with their time.

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I did suggest she smear peanut butter in her bellybutton and let the dog go nuts. Or, send back a video of her licking her dog's armpit. I'll update you on which adventure she chose.