Some of you might recall that my mom has been timidly dipping her toes into the pool of feminism, after a lifetime of being deeply suspicious of "those radical feminists."

However, she continues to make leaps and bounds! That are inadvertently hilarious!

Mom: Has anyone seen my car keys?

[Brother MacNasty and I shake our heads]

Mom: [SIGH] Well, they have to be around here somewhere...

Dad: [wandering into the room] Oh, your keys? I have them. Why didn't you just ask your husband? [laughs goofily]

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Mom: [Spins on heel and glares] BECAUSE I AM NOT BEHOLDEN TO THE GODDAMN PATRIARCHY, MR. MAN.

Dad: [confused by the word 'patriarchy', pauses for a moment, then...] Who?

Later, Dad was watching his soaps (he's a sucker for the Young and the Restless) and this exchange happened:

Me: Are they [couple on screen] boning?

Dad: [without missing a beat] No, but they were boning. Boned. Past tense.