Normally, I'm very positive. I don't make lists of things I don't want, and at the end, in the "you should message me if" section, it's short and sweet and positive. But I've had enough. Today I added:

You're single. SINGLE. Not available, not seeing someone, and most definitely not married. SINGLE. You're in the Chicago area. I'm not interested in pen pals, being a tour guide or long distance anything. And you're in my age range. A word of advice, kids. Cougars aren't really a thing, and youth, on its own, is not particularly attractive or compelling. Quit watching so much porn and learn how to read.

I haven't gotten a decent email in weeks. The guys I email don't respond (which is fine...that's how it works,) and I can't handle one more dude looking for a "friend." Join meetup, jackasses.

ETA: A married dude with no pic JUST EMAILED ME. Of course. Why wouldn't that happen. I ripped him a new one.

ETAA: Just deleted my account. Done.