And have decided to only whiten my penis shredders to “Pretty Fucking White” as opposed to Lighthouse Keeper Blinding White. (CW: Pictures of said penis shredders.) Also Included: Pupdate! And moar Vet Venting.

I’m so happy with my teeth now and have received many compliments on my lovely smile, which I use a lot more now that I’m feeling superconfident about them. I’ve done two sessions and only felt one little “ping” right at the end of yesterday’s, not a full “zap”, just a little “ping”. But aside from that, still zero sensitivity or pain. I’m really glad it didn’t make my sensitive teeth any more sensitive.

Before
After

It doesn’t really show too too well in these photographs (which irks me to no end), but they are significantly whiter in real life. Like, immediately noticeably so. It’s the first thing people close to me have been commenting on as soon as I smile. So at least I know it’s good whitening. Totally worth the zero dollars it cost me.

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But that’s it for now. They can’t go any whiter, because there is no whiter in my teeth. They’ll just go clear or turn into puffs of smoke maybe. I’ll do what I can to maintain this shade and make sure everyone nice in my life gets a big goofy smile when they see me.

Next up, going to the orthodontist to push my front tooth back into place so we can replace the broken permanent retainer wire up there. It snapped on an apple a few years ago and the recoil on the busted wire has twisted my front tooth out on an angle. I can’t complain though, that retainer had lasted 15+ years before it broke, and the lower one is still fully intact and doing it’s job 20 years in. I’ve put it off because my orthodontist retired and the cost of going to a new one was daunting, but now I’ll get a sweet discount because our offices work together a lot, so now’s the time! No more wonky front tooth.

Also, on a non tooth related note- my old doggie is back to his awesome self after 2 weeks on antibiotics. The vet tried to get me back in for more tests on Tuesday and when I declined she said “Well even without the tests I’m going to want to keep him on the same antibiotics for another week at least, maybe two, in case it’s the prostate infection possibility we discussed when you first came in. So you need to bring him in for a quick exam right now so I can prescribe you the extra week and then come in again after that week for another weeks worth.”

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Just for shits and giggles I asked if she would let me just pick up the scrip because his hydration is awesome, his temperature is normal, his gums look awesome, and he’s eating and drinking normally again as well. No go. She said she didn’t even really need all that info, I just needed to bring him in to get the scrip. So basically she was holding the scrip hostage for a $49.99 dispensing fee (that’s the follow up exam fee.)

Firstly- If you knew all along you were going to treat him with these same pills for a month regardless of more tests or not more tests, why didn’t you just prescribe a months worth right off the bat then? Oh, right, THE MONEY.

Secondly- Whoever dispensed the pills, which were dosed at 1/2 a tablet daily, fucked up. Instead of giving me 14 days worth of half pills (so 7 pills total, which it what it says on the label of the bottle)- they gave me 14 full tablets which is basically a months worth. SO NO, I WON’T NEED TO PAY FOR TWO MORE EXAMS JUST FOR YOU TO PRESCRIBE THIS SAME MEDICATION AFTER ALL. SORRY, NOT SORRY.

I’m getting tired of your money grubbing, vet lady. This is wearing very thin and I’m strongly considering thinking about maybe possibly not coming to you anymore if you’re going to be like this.

But I’d like to say “Thank you, unobservant vet tech. You saved me at least another $200 by misreading the scrip and giving me 14 full pills”

Also, POINT BREAK! is doing awesome. She’s fully settled into her role as the Upstairs Kitty. I have the day off tomorrow so I’m going to try to get her in for Fur Face Friday.

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I’m off to drink my coffee through a straw and then to quickly smoke half a cigarette before brushing my teeth again. I cannot wait any longer for a puff. I just can’t with the waiting.