I'm not doing great. I really wish I could go home now, and not in February. February is too far. I wrote about being sick about a week ago. Everyone urged me to see a doctor, so I did, but the language barrier was too great. My friend Kartie translated, but I think the meaning got lost among the complicated medical terms. The doctor gave me weird advice that really conflicted with what my own doctor suggested I do, so I've been experimenting with my insulin doses and eating right. I'm managing the issue pretty well, but my blood sugar is still yo-yoing in the morning and at night. I haven't had a proper night of sleep since last Tuesday. I have to get up at least twice a night to make sure everything is okay.

I'm just so tired. I wish I could sleep. I wish I could do things for myself and not be so helpless. I want to have a real Christmas with my family. I have to go give a demo lesson to 40 kids in an hour and put a big smile on my face and act like our school is totally not awful and I just can't. Tell me I can do it, you guys. It's less than three months, but it feels like forever.