I felt better about having to fly and the guy problems. Now I just feel like a big ol mess again.

It hit me that ex-Hopeful is moving back to his hometown and I'm sitting here crying like a dummy. I'm not sure what I thought was going to happen anyway if he stayed. I guess I realized I liked spending time with him more than anything. It's probably not helpful that he was there for me when I needed him during my whole application crisis at the end of November.

I need to get it together 'cause I need to focus on finishing packing and turning in this fellowship application by tonight.

Ugh.