...until you told me not to worry, and now I am very worried.

My mom texted me at 1:30 in the morning to say her school had "had some very violent days." They've been in lockdown and she thinks a student may have died, but just wanted to let me know she feels "pretty secure" and not to worry. Then she didn't answer my return call, so obviously I spent most of the night worrying.

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Now for a story that is only related because it is also about schools: as I was typing this first tale I looked out the window at the high school next store. The school and my parking lot are separated by a mere chain link fence (about 5 feet high), and there's a "riparian buffer" along our side (it's a ditch full of cattails, elderberries, and two woodchucks that I have named Pippin and General Vanderchuck).

Anyway, here I am, wistfully staring out the window thinking Deep Thoughts about the State of Youths Today, and I see three of the Old Dominion's finest attempting to hop the fence and make a break for it. Their first mistake was not taking off their (evidently) very heavy backpacks. This added weight pulls them too far forward and two out of three face plant in the mud. The third recoils at the plight of his friends, loses his footing with one leg straddling the top, and nails himself in the crotch on the fence. It probably makes me a horrible person, but I cannot stop laughing at them. Their second mistake was not seeing the gate in the fence about seven feet stage left.

Their third mistake is that they are now smoking next to the propane tanks.

Stay in school kids.