Do you ever get that feeling like you have puke in your hair but you KNOW you don't. I keep getting this faint smell of vomit and I have not thrown up anytime recently nor am I dirty. It's weird and annoying.
Anyhow, I made the break with my boyfriend. I really think it's going to stick this time. Last night he was desperate, and he is slowly morphing into his anger phase. Tomorrow I am going to send my phone to him so he won't have any way to contact me, on the phone, that is.
I feel a lot of things. At first I felt like a weight had been lifted, a sense of freedom, and I've been oscillating between this (although less so) and sadness, numbness, terror, loneliness.
He's acted like a dick and at the very least I need a good deal of time alone. But he can't hang with even that or my insistence that he go to therapy. So, there it is.
You guys, I know I've been That Girl, and I'm sorry. I've been in love with him for 10 years, it feels like he owns me. Not in the possessive way, just...he owns my sexuality and my spirit and everything. I honest to god feel like we're going to love each other until we die, and in that way it feels like the worst curse, to have ever met him.
ANYHOW, I needed to do a sadness dump because Groupdrink because I refuse to bring the drunk sads tonight. Thank you for listening, as always.