ManBerry and I are officially broken up (I know...finally). I’m still lost because I don’t know how I feel. Things with us were never great, but they’ve not been even worse than usual for the last couple months. I’ve basically been waiting for him to break up with me....I know I could have broken up with him and I know that was kind of immature, but I got so tired of a lack of follow through from him in our relationship that I at least wanted him to have to make some sort of decision and then follow through on it. A couple weeks ago he applied for a job and didn’t get it. It sent him into a down spiral in which he has pretty much quit talking to his friends, and when he did, he was a real jerk. Since he started doing that, I’ve felt like the relationship is over, but I’ve been checking in with him every couple days because I’ve been with him two years and still cared about him. Today he informed me when he attends a conference this weekend, he is going to start networking for other jobs and will likely be leaving town soon...putting the final nail in the coffin.

I’m relieved that it’s all finally over, I’ve been in this relationship for over 2 years and should have been out of it 1.5 years ago and I’m just as tired of the roller coaster as everybody that has had to deal with me through it. Sad because he was a part of my life for 2 years, and despite it all he is a good person (just a terrible boyfriend) and I really did love him. And angry because he pretty much just fucking ghosted on me after everything I did for him. But, I don’t have any regrets, even when I’m angry. I knew when I was getting into the relationship that he had more baggage than the cargo hold of a 747, but I chose to stay because he needed me. I don’t know if he knew it, or really even appreciated it, but his friends that really cared about him knew it and thanked me for it.

I know in the end, this is such a good thing for me. I’m so glad to be done with all the crap I went through with this relationship. But right now my whole reality has shifted and it sucks.