Hi GT. Long time, no talk. I hope you’re all well. I am doing okay, all things considered, but I got some really upsetting information yesterday and I am having a hard time processing it. (TW assault)
So, my ten year high school reunion is coming up and I was commiserating about the old days with a friend of mine from my class that I hadn’t connected with in awhile. Our sophomore year of high school, she had what she describes as a nervous breakdown and transferred schools and wasn’t really heard from again, but we kept up on social media. I remember there had been talk around the time that she left that she was “crazy” or whatever demeaning adjective kids were using back then and that a lot of her friends had abandoned her. As we were talking yesterday, she came out and told me that it was because a guy we knew mutually sexually assaulted her.
This guy in question was also the best friend of my ex-boyfriend whom I dated for four years. I spent tons of time around him between ages 16 and 20. He came on to me a few times whenever my boyfriend and I would temporarily split up. I’ve been sick over it all day. I know it’s not my job to fix or heal what happened to her, but it feels like a serious mindfuck that somebody I considered a good friend at one point of my life was capable of this shit, but when I look back at some of those times I was around him I knew there was something off. I was just too young and inexperienced to know what it was or to listen to the quiet alarm bells I had. His best friend (my ex) was pretty godawful to me as well and revealed himself to be incredibly creepy throughout the course of our relationship. It was one of those deals where I was 16 and he was 20 when we got together and oh my god why wasn’t my mother ever involved in telling him to fuck off because that was obviously not okay, and obviously predatory. It’s also bringing up the fact that the guy who raped me is also in our graduating class and fits in the same category as this fucker who assaulted my friend- Mr. High School, conventionally handsome, sociable, seemed to have it all together, liked by many. It makes me fucking sick.
I don’t know. I just told her that I was so incredibly sorry and pointed her to some resources that I have used and told her I am here for her. I’m just fucking sick.