Sorry ugly ladies. The only valid beauty standards are those of white America and if something so insane should happen as a man finding you attractive it’s probably just because he’s trying to rob you!

So please, uggos, take our advice. Don’t be so charmed and flattered by the unaccustomed attention that your little ugly woman brain fails to realize that these foreign guys (I mean, foreigners am I right?? You can’t trust ‘em) are just tricking you and could never have a REAL boner for you!!

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Oh - and 10s you don’t need to worry. You’re legitimately hot so these guys definitely aren’t going to rob or rape you.

(PS this is the sort of thing where a kernel of not terrible advice (i.e. be careful about your drinks in any bar) is presented so fucking badly that it completely gets lost. See also: CDC drinking recommendations