TW: privilege, general assholishleness, whiny mcwhines-a-lot

I have been at my current job for six months now. For the first four months, I hated everything about it—passive-aggressive co-workers, a punishing work load, questionable decisions from upper leadership, and overall a really bad fit for me. Everything I love about working in my industry and the things I'm really passionate about were just...missing. The position I had before this was the most fulfilling and enjoyable experience of my professional career, so admittedly, my bar was a little high.

Since I had just recently been networking and interviewing (I had been laid off in the early summer) I still had some irons in the fire, and just before the holidays I received a call from a company I had been SUPER interested in working for back when my initial job hunt had begun. They are very much like my previous organization, both in clientele and values, and I'm certain I would be very happy there. They are also a company in their infancy—the position I previously held in my last job hasn't even been created yet there—it's been cleared for the 2016 budget, but until then, I'd be taking a slight step back...but getting in on the ground floor would be a great opportunity for future advancement. I've been interviewing with them since early November, and with each round of interviews I move onto, I become more convinced that they love me. They're flying me to Chicago next week for another round of interviews, and I suspect that they'll be making me an offer.

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So what's the problem, Bitch Pudding? Why so whiny—you're getting everything you want, right? SO YOU'D THINK.

I've been doing some sleuthing during the interview process, and it does not seem like dream company pays super well. They have not discussed compensation at all yet—which, note: if you're a hiring manager or recruiter—just fucking discuss pay upfront. It's a mutual waste of time otherwise. Additionally, my commute, which is currently a whopping 8 minutes, would be about 45 minutes, one way, not including additional time for rush hour traffic. For the past month or so at my actual job, my unhappiness has mellowed to ambivalence. I'm still not doing cartwheels at the thought of getting out of bed every day, but I'm not completely miserable the way I was in the beginning. But...here's the real reason. They pay me a ludicrous amount of money for my role. Like...insanely so. Some of my best friends are in the same industry, and I'm making a substantial amount more for the exact same job.

I know, I know...money doesn't buy happiness. But money totally buys things. And things make me super happy, I can't help it. Money buys fancy throw rugs! And jet skis! Have you ever seen anyone be unhappy on a jet ski? Yeah, didn't think so.

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At a business lunch this week, I was sitting next to one of my peers, and he was talking with our across-the-table neighbor about how he takes his entire extended family to Disney for a week...twice a year. (Obviously I don't need to explain the cost associated with staying at the happiest place on earth.) After lunch, he waved goodbye...from his brand new bmw. Clearly, if I stay with this job long enough, that jet ski will be mine!!

I grew up poor-ish. There was always food on the table, but utilities being turned off regularly was the norm. My mom's car was repossessed more than once. Having a roof over our heads was not a guarantee. I wish money weren't such a big deal to me, but I can't help it...it is. Every time I weight the pros and cons of both employers, I know where I'd be happiest...BUT MONEY.

TL;DR: I'm a whiny brat with too many options, and am very very greedy.