1. I just ate a whole bunch of Starburst jellybeans. Just the red ones, because whoever is in charge of Starburst knows full well that the red/pink ones are the only edible colors. Now my belly is all "ohhhhh ouchie."

2. I paid a dude $40 to pick up all the dog poop in my back yard because I could not be bothered to do it. There was a lot of it, whoops.

3. I changed out my windshield wiper blades over the weekend and the one for the back window of my truck SUCKS and I need to go to AutoZone and ask them to figure out why and treat me like a stupid woman while they do it. Blergh.

4. Sometimes I pee a little bit when I sneeze.

5. Spring is on the way and my dogs will NOT shut up about it. I can't hear the birds anymore but they can and feel the need to bark incessantly.

6. My cat is sad because I do not have a baby for him to eat.

7. The cat is also upset because his goal in life (after "eat a baby") is to get outside and I refuse to let him out because he is a dedicated nudist and refuses to wear a collar. He's microchipped, but he's so damn handsome that if he were to get loose, someone would scoop his fine ass up and feed him babies and he'd be happy about that because cats are jerks.

8. I have a lot of laundry to fold.

9. My lunch was unsatisfactory.

10. I just paid approximately 1 zillion dollars for tickets to Liverpool FC vs Manchester City at Yankee Stadium only to be told "ooops, there was a glitch and everyone got assigned to the wrong section!" OH, THANKS SO MUCH, TICKETMASTER. Whatever, our seats are fine, we'll keep them.

Whew. I feel better now that I've vented about my Rilly Silly Issues.