In the interest of not threadjacking, and in indulging some insomnia, what is WITH thinking you can radically change a guy who is a persistent douche horse?!

I have this pal, let’s call her Kimmy, who is beautiful. Like turns heads in a classic English rose, vulnerable Pride & Prejudice sort of way. She’s rarely single for long, but chooses the shittest men possible based on “instant spark.” Basically that means if they neg her right, she is suddenly attracted; if they don’t, she’s not interested. Doesn’t matter their relative attractiveness. She’s had relationships with squirrelly wee trolls, racist drunks, deadbeat dads, whoever AS LONG AS THEY NEG HER. The current one, who has somehow acquired the gossip nickname Tarquin, is a do-over round two. She has already gone through the cry on my shoulder routine for him a few times, but they got back together. It’s on my mind today cos I know she is AGAIN crying on shoulders and thinking about breaking up with him, but has just today RSVP’d with him for my wedding in May.

How many boyfriendterventions can a girl do before she has to be like ok enough let’s never talk about men again.*

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Fucking Tarquin. Fucking Kimmy.

*Also I’m mad cos she keeps banging on about how nice it is that another friend of mine is going out with a larger lady, like why would you keep bringing that up as if that’s at all of note, let alone a courteous conversation topic. Jesus.

Rant over, can I sleep now...

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Or please vent your spleens to me about idiot friends who have no sense.