I am a member of The Avengers. I don’t know my Avenger name but my costume is red and white.

My special power is the ability to heal wounds and... wait for it... ... ... clean up all the physical damage.

But!

I’m totally over their battles and the big fucking messes they make.

I enter some kind of fancy-pants dinner fundraiser thing and start lecturing about $2,500/plate black-tie events to “save the salmon”.

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Iron Man showed up and we fought some bad guys. Well, he fought and I healed the wounded. I think Black Widow was there and Anthony Mackie (I forget who he’s playing). There’s a bunch of wounded — “good” and “bad” guys. Once again, I have to deal with all these people while the Avengers plane flies off without me. I help the people but then I call it quits because, dammit, I’m tired and I’m not putting the goddamn building back together!

I know this is going to piss off the brass, but fuck it, I still work full time and have to make dinner. It’s not salmon.

So... I should probably take a day off, right?