My sister in law is super woman. We just got back from a visit to see our newest niece. She was born about a week ago. She is precious and it was amazing to me how even though Baby Haa was that tiny (tinier even!) a few short months ago how much I had forgotten how little newborns are.

My SIL had lunch waiting for us. Was wearing non-maternity jeans. Did I mention she also has 3 other children (ages 5, 4, and 2)? When I was in high school dating Mr. Haa I always looked up to her and wished I could be like her. Now that we're dealing with the same things I am jealous of her. This will be her 4th breastfed child. Her baby is already back up over her birth weight so no supplemental feedings or extra worry for her. She didn't tear and had a 6 hour labor with 4 pushes over 1 contraction. She's not even sore anymore. She definitely looks better than me who is 13 weeks post partum. She was so calm and chill even with 3 screaming children around her and a nursing newborn. It made me feel so horrible about myself. She is someone I would consider a natural. They chose to have this many kids so close together because they love their kids so much.

I thought about bringing up the PPD with her but she is so happy with her kids I feel like she would look at me like I am a monster for hating this. No one understands me. My husband's patience is so thin. I can tell he thinks I'm terrible for some of things I feel. I can tell he's starting to regret this with me.