The spiral started about 2 years ago, I felt hopeless. My life was a shit show. My finances a wreck. My wife lost her short term disability. She was so depressed she barely functioned. I found a job that made up some of that income, but a sick dog (who we spent way too much on) and mistakes kept us in a bad place even though we should have had enough money. My cat died. My dog died. I was tired all the time. It felt like there was no point in trying. I was behind on student loans. I moaned alot on groupthink. I almost just gave up.

That was before my wife had a psychotic break, cleaned out our checking account, and I discovered 1,000s in secret bad credit card debt (once by being served). I even had my wages garnished for stuff I never even knew about. Not fun.

Since then, I’ve pulled my head out of my ass and:


*Stopped enabling

*Taken complete control of my finances and budget with my own account that my wife cannot access (I previously stuck my head in the sand and let a mentally unstable person manage our finances which was fucking stupid).


*Focused on my health and own happiness above all others even when it seemed selfish.


I have paid off lots of debt (some via settlements) or set up payment plans. Paid off back taxes. I am rehabbing student loans. I have a long road ahead, but I am focusing on the items that affect my credit too (my wife’s credit is far worse). I think by early next year that I will be debt free except student loans, but they will be in good standing. In spite paying off debt, we still have disposable income (budgets are amazing like that).

I dropped multiple toxic people like hot potatoes and never looked back.

I got in shape. I have lost 15 pounds and feel better than I did in my 20s right out of basic training.

I got a nice raise which also helped with the debt managment.


I actually think I will be able to buy VERY modest townhome in 18-24 months.

I had a rough situation, but I had my head up my ass and made most of my own my problems. I am sure many people here saw that. Instead of being jerks, you still showed me love and compassion. I figured it out and the non judgemental support I got here sustained through many dark times. If someone had just told me to pull my head out of my ass, it would have just hurt and confused me. People come around in their own time and their own way.


Thought I would give a positive update!! Sorry for typos. Kinja hates my phone.