TW death of a parent

My dad passed away at about 4:15 this morning (Thursday). It was peaceful, I was awake so I woke up my stepmom and her sister who has been staying with us to help out and we held his hands as he stopped breathing. Then I called hospice to come and the nurse stayed with us until the funeral home picked him up and took him away. The nurse was amazing. I wish she was still here.

No one has hugged me. No one cares about me. In the meeting with the funeral parlor director my stepmom brought up how she is fine with my dad's first wife and didn't mind if she was mentioned in the obituary, but she didn't want his second wife (my mom) mentioned at all because she didn't get along with my mom and my mom caused a lot of problems between them. (Because my mother was standing up for ME and wouldn't let her treat me like shit. My mom was my biggest advocate my dad used to love me and now they're both gone.)

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I am all alone. I don't have anyone. Everyone is talking about how they want to make sure my stepmom is ok and sit with her for the services and I have no one. I will be alone, in the back of the church probably by the time everyone else surrounds my stepmom. None of my friends will be there and all I want right now is someone to crawl into bed with me and hold me and hug me and I don't know anyone who is willing to do that. I keep begging Mr Caterpillar to come out but he can't, and I know that, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to do this without him. I need someone.

I am alone. The house is full of people who are here for my stepmom, who care about her, and who tolerate me because she can't get rid of me yet.