The Good News: My period held off long enough for me to go to my IUD string check on Monday morning. (I thought it started on Friday night, but that turned out to be a sex-ruining false alarm.)

The Bad News: Remember the spotting and tiny kitten cramps I was having? Yeah, that was probably because my IUD was poking out of my cervix. So, instead of a fifteen-minute “all is well” appointment, I got to chill at the office for three hours (counting the hour it took for the doctor to even get to me) so that they could yank my IUD out and put a new one in.

Which is why I spent the rest of the day going “owowowowowow” every so often because damn, I do not remember it hurting that much the first time. My uterus is all “no, wtf, I tried to get rid of this thing once already, why are you putting it back???” So that’s what debilitatingly painful cramps feel like. I am so sorry for all of you who have to deal with that regularly.

[Pictured: My face during said cramps, only less adorable and with more swearing.]

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I scheduled the follow up for next month (NOT five months from now) while I was at the office and hopefully this one stays where it belongs, because otherwise I might have to hurt someone. And then after work I went home and had frozen pizza and a lot of alcohol for a Monday night.

*heavy sigh*