Thanks to everyone who left suggestions on the post I made last night. I won't be following all of them ("seek medical care" is excellent advice, although it kind of requires a "have insurance" factor), but we just tried the "have your partner jam their finger into the knot and hold it there" technique and it definitely helped some. Although for about five minutes, our apartment sounded like a murder was taking place.

Yeah, apparently it took InfectiousGirl a while to find the knot because when she first went over it, SHE THOUGHT IT WAS BONE.