I am trying to not making this into a self-fulfilling prophecy so I am limiting myself to saying this only once: I interview poorly. (I mean, I have.)

This is a weird phenomenon because I’m not bad at talking normally and I’m kind of hard to phase, work-wise. I worked in editorial design production at a newspaper publisher for awhile, for fuck’s sake: that shit is ridiculous. I even pitch like a champ. I don’t get why I’m so nervous. Maybe because I so rarely practice? Maybe because I have a not-great track record? Maybe because of that one time when I interviewed at the place with the weird stools on bouncy springs attached to the floor and the interviewer was like “I hate interviews, you ask me questions. Go!”

In other news, please cross your fingers for me Monday as I interview for a job I think I’d really kick ass at.