So…. Maybe this is my fault

There's this dude who pushes all my buttons. In a good way (until lately). He's smart cute and funny and we "met" on OKC. We have, as of yet, to actually hang out.

We started talking last year and recently he contacted me again. So we started chatting again a few months ago, and I asked him out. He said "I'm not really dating right now but we can hang out"

Fine. Good.

I wasn't Anne in Bridesmaids bummed, but a part of me was a little disappointed. I haven't really felt like this about anyone for a long time.

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Every once in a while he will text me and say hi, and we'll make small chat but lately it's been like:

First text: Hello!

Second text: SEXTING

and I'm just…… not in to it. I don't usually respond to him when he does this so I thought this was sufficient enough information to assume I don't want to be sexted. (I know I know I should spell it out but I hate justifying myself over this shit)

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Fast forward to today: we've been talking for a couple hours. He got kind of sexty and sent me a snapchat (UGH in hindsight this just TELLS me how often he does this) of him in his undies. Pretty PG. But he is acting genuinely interested in me as a person overall.

He kept inviting me to do things (non sexy) and so momentarily I got excited until he told me some "hot aussie chick" sent him a picture of herself in her underwear…..

And i'm just like

UH…. good for you dude? I am completely perplexed as to why he has decided to share this with me. So I would see he is desirable? So I would want to fuck him? Help me?

I'm just mad that I fell into the trap. I just HATE feeling barely good enough to fuck but not good enough to know OR person enough to want someone to PRETEND that I'm the only person he is interested in fucking that very hour.

Good grief I need some wine.