Mr. Farce and I have been engaged for almost a year. We are planning a big backyard wedding for early fall of 2015, and fixing up our yard in the meantime. You'd think that coordinating building projects and planting and landscape design would be a headache, right? Wrong, we work brilliantly together in that regard.

The real issue? He cannot for the life of him decide about wedding parties. I have friends and family I could include, or not include, or whatever. It really doesn't matter to me how we involve our friends and families, I just want them involved. They can be wedding party members, or just great people who help, or WHATEVER. We love them, they love us, everyone knows this.

Advertisement

Mr. Farce is actually having anxiety over "picking our favorite friends." Regardless of what arrangements I suggest, he freaks out that we're leaving people out, going to end up with someone getting butthurt over involvement or lack there of, or what have you. I am about to strangle him.

I have run out of suggestions on how to assuage his concerns. I have suggested only involving our brothers, only involving family, involving x,y,z friends, having a "wedding support team" of everyone we'd ever want involved, and just having his brother as witness. NOTHING is acceptable to him. He'has been in like 9 million weddings, complained about most of them, but now worries that those friends for whom he stood up will be hurt. He is practically on the verge of tears he's so frustrated and I have run out of ways to help. His biggest struggle is that he has long-term friends (whose weddings he has been in), but with whom he's no longer super-close. He also has become very close with my friends, but these are (typically guys) he has only known well for about four years or so.

Imma end up in prison for murder if this keeps up, and we're a long way off from the I Dos.

ETA: we are asking a mutual friend to officiate, which eased some anxiety.

HALP! Suggestions? How can I help him select people if he wants wedding parties? Anyone been through this, either personally or with their spouse?