Look, Kansas, I'm sure life there is hard. You're flat. You're not shaped like a boot, or a mitten, or even a penis, but just a boring old rectangle. L. Frank Baum specifically used you as as the dull grey foil to highlight the most brightly colored and wonderful land of all. I get it. You've had a rough deal.
But seriously, you have got to stop with your bullshit. If you can't be pretty on the outside Kansas, work on being pretty in the inside. Don't start legislation to legalize discrimination against gays, Kansas. Don't buy into false science and start spreading b.s. about fluoride. And for the love of all things holy, what will you do next? Write a bill that gives parents permission to abuse their children?