I'm going to blow your mind, because it's been rough in GT today, and we need some blowing. All the blowing. I don't even have a dick and I'm kind of getting distracted.. OH, right, ice cream things!

I was making a (belated, because I'm a bad mom) ice cream cake for my daughter today and stumbled across two super-important-recipes. "Recipes" kind of works better.

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One, homemade Magic Fucking Shell. Have chocolate? Have coconut oil? You have chocolate shell. I AM NOT KIDDING, that's it. Melt 8 oz of chocolate (the kind you like) with 2 tablespoons of coconut oil. Let cool. You're done. Seriously. Put it on ice cream. Stuff face.

Then you can make those awesome little crunchy things in an ice cream cake (Northeasterners, you know them by their technical name, OMG CRUNCHIES...). Crush any kind of cookie you like (I went with a thin mint type) and drizzle with your magic shell until the crumbs are wet but not dripping. Sprinkle between layers of ice cream; et voila, crunchies.

The internet is dark and full of terrors, but The Google is a kind and merciful recipe-finder.